Nursery pics:

Comments & My 'Free Fall' Writing Sample:

Firstly, contrary to what the little bar at the top of my blog says right now, Baby Bee does not keep me up or wake me up at night... yet! According to my doctor and the ultrasound tech, s/he sure does wiggle though!

In my earlier post I forgot to mention that my lower back / hip pain seems to be getting worse for the time being. It is still most painful when I'm lying down (ie: trying to sleep) and transitioning from being upright to lying down. However, today I was in moderate pain sitting at my desk. As this was the first time I've had pain while sitting/standing, I hope I just twisted wrong and that part will go away. I don't expect the lying down pain to go away any time soon. :'(

So, my writing sample... At the women's conference I attended a session on "Creative Journaling" and during that session we did a "free fall" writing exercise. We were given 7 minutes in which we had to write continuously about anything that came to mind. We had 30 seconds to muse and then start writing, but after that our pens basically did not leave the paper. There was music for a source of inspiration if needed. As I seem to have a one-track mind lately (focused on the pregnancy) inspiration wasn't required. Here's what I came up with...

~ ~ ~

Baby Bee. My little honeybee. So tiny and fragile. So full of hopes and dreams and untainted by the world around. I want the world that you see to be one filled with love and hope and joy and promise. I fear that when you open your beautiful eyes for the first time you will not see the love and beauty that I wish for you. I fear you will see a world filled with selfishness, hatred, pettiness, crime, war, fear, and death. You will be changed. You won't be the 'perfect' untouched being in my womb. You will be tainted by the world. Will you see past the hatred and the fear? Will the crime and war give you sleepless nights?

Or will you see the beauty that exists within nature and the hearts of your parents? In this dark world a rose still blooms. You are my rose. You are the beauty in my world. You help me see past the fear and hatred. Beyond the war and death. Beyond the ugliness to a world of such beauty and love that it brings tears to my eyes. I love you, Baby Bee and I hope you love me too.

Why I can't I feel you move within me yet? It is time, so they say. I thought I felt you once and I was so amazed that my very breath seemed to catch in my throat. But I have not felt you since. Perhaps you are there moving and I just cannot recognize that it is you. It is the rose that parts the clouds on a rainy day. It is my love. It is my Baby Bee. The world isn't all dark.

My favorite lullaby...

Return To Pooh Corner

by Kenny Loggins

~ ~ ~

Christopher Robin and I walked along

Under branches lit up by the moon

Posing our questions to Owl and Eeyore

As our days disappeared all too soon

But I've wandered much further today than I should

And I can't seem to find my way back to the Wood

~ ~ ~

So help me if you can

I've got to get back

To the House at Pooh Corner by one

You'd be surprised

There's so much to be done

Count all the bees in the hive

Chase all the clouds from the sky

Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh

~ ~ ~

Winnie the Pooh doesn't know what to do

Got a honey jar stuck on his nose

He came to me asking help and advice

And from here no one knows where he goes

So I sent him to ask of the Owl if he's there

How to loosen a jar from the nose of a bear

~ ~ ~

It's hard to explain how a few precious things

Seem to follow throughout all our lives

After all's said and done I was watching my son

Sleeping there with my bear by his side

So I tucked him in, I kissed him and as I was going

I swear that the old bear whispered "Boy welcome home"

~ ~ ~

Believe me if you can

I've finally come back

To the House at Pooh Corner by one

What do you know

There's so much to be done

Count all the bees in the hive

Chase all the clouds from the sky

Back to the days of Christopher Robin

Back to the ways of Christopher Robin

Back to the days of Pooh

I love my hubby!

Yup... my hubby put me in a super-happy mood yesterday... the best I've been in since I became pregnant. How did he manage such a feat, you might wonder? Well, wonder no more for I am about to share the news...

This weekend is both my birthday and Mother's Day. Well, I found something that I want to do that would mean more to me than any present possibly could... I want to go for a 3-D/4-D Ultrasound! There is a clinic called UC Baby that has offices across Canada, including Alberta. It is a bit pricy, but when I saw it I knew that I wanted to go. So, as my combined birthday and Mother's Day present, JB and I have an appointment booked for the "Complete 4-D Package" on June 16!!! I am so excited! A co-worker of mine and his wife just went to the same clinic we're going to and they are really happy with the service. Part of the package I'm getting has optional web-hosting for 2-months (no extra charge) so I will definately get that.

So... that is one more chance to try and find out what gender Baby Bee is. Another chance comes on May 31 when I have to go for a second routine ultrasound. Baby Bee was so active and non-cooperative during the first ultrasound that the technician couldn't get all the standard measurements and checks that they normall perform. So, we have to get another one to just make sure everything is in the right places! My doctor said not to worry, as it is just a routine thing... my baby is just too active! Goody!

I did a little bit of writing when I was at the Women's Conference last weekend and one piece was about/to our baby. Perhaps I'll track it down and post it sometime this weekend. One person in that particular class had suggested that it become my first scrapbook page if I do a baby scrapbook (which I more than likely will!).

20 weeks, 3 (or 5) days:

I am now technically past the half-way point in my pregnancy, as I am in the 21st week (20 weeks, 3 or 5 days). As a note, the discrepancy in the "days" when counting is the difference between the doctor's guess (due: Sept 21) and the ultrasound (due: Sept 18). However, I don't see it as being half-way through quite yet. For one, counting what week you're in begins at the day of your last "cycle", not at the date of conception (approximately 2 weeks difference). And then, you don't actually figure out that you're pregnant until after your next cycle is late. Thus, for at least a month of "being pregnant" you don't actually know that you're pregnant. So, I think week 24 is a more accurate description of the mid-way point of a woman's pregnancy. Plus, from what I've heard, the last month or so can really drag on once you get into that "uncomfortable stage" thereby making the last little bit feel a lot longer than the early stages of pregnancy! :D

I'm feeling pretty good these days. A little low on energy and sleep, but I think that's our body's way of preparing us for motherhood! I cannot sleep in for the life of me... my bladder wakes me up like clockwork (either around 7am or, if I'm lucky, 8am) - this morning that was a good thing, as I had set my alarm for 7:45am instead of 6:45am... my internal bladder-powered alarm woke me up at 7:05am! My pregnant friend ended up in the hospital yesterday because of a bad flu that is going around the city - both she and her 2-year old daughter were very ill. Thus, I will be staying away from that house for a few days! After being put on IV to re-hydrate her, she is doing much better today.

I'm not sure if I've been feeling the baby kick. I thought I was, but now I'm not so sure. I guess things should develop into more regular kicking of my insides over the next few weeks. I have my next prenatal appointment on Wednesday, so as long as the heartbeat is still strong and the baby is moving (the last doctor was laughing while trying to hear my baby's heartbeat due to so much "swimming" around) then I will feel at peace for now.

I was at a women's conference this past weekend and I discovered that there are certain yoga positions that do not agree with me right now - these include child's pose and anything that involves lying on my back on a hard floor! I'm not showing much, but bending over is definately becoming more challenging! The lying on my back thing affects me at home too (ie: when trying to watch TV in bed)... I have to prop my legs up, otherwise I have severe discomfort/pain in my lower back and hip areas. But, that's life right now!

I love our baby room! Perhaps tonight I'll take some pictures and post them on here. I just love sitting in there on my glider-rocker listening to music or reading.


Edit (1:55pm): Oops... the above post should read "20 days, 3 (or 6) days"! I can't count!